Salmon are an amazing species. They are anadromous—born in the fresh waters of a stream or river, they make their way downstream to the ocean, spend their adult lives at sea, and eventually return to the exact freshwater stream where they were born to spawn. Bypassing every other river and tributary along the way, they return to the familiar grounds of their origin. Humans have even had to adapt to this instinct, building fish ladders in man-made dams so the salmon can survive. Like salmon, countless animals are creatures of habit. Including me.
I like to park in the same spot wherever I go. I sit in the same pew at church. I use the same bathroom stall. I have an entire morning routine that I complete in the exact same order without fail. Neuroscientists estimate that 40 to 50 percent of daily human actions are driven by habit rather than conscious choice.
Forming good habits and establishing routines for a healthier lifestyle are at the heart of every New Year’s resolution and countless self-help books. Conversely, breaking bad habits is the central mission of addiction centers and therapists across the country. In my work coaching others, I always emphasized establishing habits of best practice—because when times get challenging, we inevitably fall to the level of our habits.
In moments of uncertainty, I tend to retreat into what is comfortable. Facing the unknown can be terrifying. What happens when I have no plan, no answers, and find myself waiting for whatever comes next?
Peter found himself in this exact position in John 21. Jesus had been crucified and resurrected. Peter had seen the resurrected Christ, but Jesus was no longer spending day-to-day time with the disciples. They were told to wait for the Holy Spirit—whatever that meant. The habits that had been formed for three years of following Jesus now seemed uncertain. Lacking clear direction, Peter fell back on what he knew best. As John 21:3 records, Peter simply said, “I’m going fishing.”
In Luke 5, we read about Peter’s first encounter with Jesus. After a miraculous catch of fish, Peter fell at His feet and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man” (Luke 5:8). Jesus comforted him, saying, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people” (v. 10). At that moment, Peter left everything to follow Him.
From now on. That was the call. From that point forward, he was no longer meant to be a commercial fisherman. He was not meant to return to his former way of life. From now on, he didn’t need to be defined by fear, sin, or unworthiness; he was called to follow Jesus.
So why did Peter go back to fishing? Why did he return to the very life Jesus called him to leave behind?
I can’t judge Peter. I do the exact same thing. What am I tempted to return to when fear sets in? Is it a substance? A familiar thought pattern? Guilt and shame? A coping mechanism? I notice that these urges are almost always driven by fear—just like Peter’s was. Driven by fear, I am tempted to fall back into old patterns simply because they feel comfortable. At least there, I feel like I have direction. At least there, I have a sense of control. As a creature of habit, I default to comfort to protect myself from vulnerability and pain.
Yet Jesus didn’t abandon Peter when he retreated to his old way of life. Instead, Jesus stood on the shore, waiting to call him back and gently remind him of who he was. Jesus didn’t berate or embarrass him. He met Peter right where he was, provided for his needs, shared a meal with him, and reaffirmed his calling with the same simple words from the beginning: “Follow me” (John 21:19).
I don’t need to have all the answers, a perfect plan, or the false comfort of old habits. I just need Jesus.
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